Under the Table and Escorting Courtney

Link to the introductory warning and the cast of characters

That headline is more than clickbait. The truth is that I was chaperone when minor Courtney* was dating an adult man. I would like to remind the readers that Mother and Father lied in Court in 2022 about Courtney’s relationship with this man. The LDS Mormon Lawyer knows they were lying. The judge figured out they were lying. My parents lied under oath in Court. They are criminals.

Working under the table at an LDS Mormon restaurant

My father was known around the Stake (Mormon collections of Wards) by this time. He met the restaurant’s owner at Church. The owner was a seemingly committed priesthood holder. His wife was a resistant Mormon. We did not see her at church often and my Mother talked shit about Sister Leonard* being a sinner and a “Jack Mormon“. I have no issues with the owner or his wife. They treated me with more kindness & respect than I got at home. It wasn’t great, but it wasn’t bad. I was out of the house, away from Mother.

First day was when I was 12… no older than that. I worked Friday and / or Sat nights as a bus boy. I was paid in cash out of the register by the LDS Mormon owner. I was usually stiffed on tips by their staff of student waitresses and a couple waiters. I didn’t care enough to fight about it.

Sidebar: I would pay real dollars for the CDs they played on the Sony 5 Disc CD Changer. That instrumental music was so soothing compared to Mother’s constant bickering and screaming at home. Mother didn’t want us in the house anyway.

Mother was not consistent about much in her life. One consistent theme is that she wanted her spouse and kids out of the house. She wanted to be alone, probably with her notes. One needs to study the lies to keep them all straight.

The last friendly interaction I had with my father was when he dug a small drainage ditch for us in 2019. It was 100% optional. We would have paid a contractor to do that if it had needed to be done. But my Mother was texting my spouse weekly asking for jobs for Father to do.

“Since retiring he is driving me nuts” she would text. She wanted Father out of the house. So he did manual labor in my yard. I did not want him there. He is old and retired. Go play with your trains, dude. That’s what Father wants to do anyway. But Mother wants him out of the house. Her domain.

Working in a Mormon restaurant starting at 12 years old

Back to the early 1990s. Mother and Father got Stefanie* and Courtney jobs at the LDS Mormon’s restaurant. They worked Friday and Saturday nights. It kept them busy. LDS Mormons love to stay busy. No time to doubt your doubts if you are busy doing needless work 100% of your waking hours.

Eventually, I was called to serve in the restaurant. I worked there from 1990-1996. I worked as I was needed on Friday and Saturday nights. I did not have a social life. Mother needed me isolated so I would have no one to tell that I was sexually abused as a child.

Working at the LDS Mormon’s restaurant was also when I would escort Courtney to have alone time with her boyfriend. The adult boyfriend would drive us to and from the restaurant. The boyfriend will be known as Anthony*. It was Friday and Saturday night. Anthony wanted time alone with Courtney. She was already out of the house. Anthony just needed to figure out what to do with me.

Anthony also worked at the restaurant at some point. He was our ride to and from work. I would be dropped off somewhere by Anthony, who took Courtney alone somewhere, presumably to have sex. Mother had to know this was happening. I believe I was 13 when that started. Escorting my CSA co-victim sister to have alone time with her boyfriend. Anthony drove a station wagon. You can guess what Anthony called his vehicle.

Around this time Mother started using new words around our house. Mother would scream “sodomy” and “statutory rape” at Courtney. I was too young and sheltered to know. But I looked up “sodomy” in my Boom of Mormon and learned what it was.

Courtney was too young and abused for any type of sexual activity at her age (14-17).

Escorting Courtney on dates with her college boyfriend

LDS Mormons do not let their children date until they are 16 years old. You are not supposed to be alone ever with a member of the opposite sex until you are 16 years old. Even then, a bishop will interview you about your sexual thoughts and feelings on a regular basis.

My Mother probably figured that Courtney and I were already damaged from the Child Sex Abuse; so I could be Courtney’s escort on dates. This definitely started before Courtney was 16. So I was sent along to be Courtney’s escort. I felt like her pimp. I was Mother’s stand-in to allow her daughter to go out and have alone time with her boyfriend, Anthony.

Sidebar: Stop and think about that for a minute. Courtney was older than me by 18 months. I was Mother’s assigned chaperone. Perhaps this is why I was screaming “I couldn’t save her!” in the hospital after she died in 2004. Apparently, I was screaming that so loudly that the few nurses that could hear me were huddled in a circle, crying before the sun rose on Courtney’s death day.

When a Conservative Christian says that no one should have an abortion please refer them to my blog here. My Conservative Christian mother would let her underage daughter go have sex with her boyfriend while her underage son was left somewhere late at night. Mother 100% knew this was happening. Mother 100% votes for anti-abortion politicians. I wonder how many abortions Mother paid for with two sexually-active daughters that had boyfriends all through high school.

After work or after concerts, Anthony would drive us home. On the way home, Courtney and her man would drop me off at my Mormon girlfriend’s house or at Denny’s or somewhere so they could be alone. They would tell me what time to watch for them.

Anthony committed statutory rape on August 4, 1993; September 24, 1993; and March 7, 1994. I may add more dates based on the records that I have.

After Anthony was done with Courtney, I would get back in the car and we would drive home. Some of those nights we would wake up for Seminary at 5:30 am the next morning. My Mother was the Priestess that taught early morning Bible Study to the high school children of the ward.

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Escorting Stefanie to the Missionaries Apartment for Alone Time

One time I was sent as Stefanie ’s escort. Stefanie was in love with Elder Dude*. He was a missionary serving in the 3rd Ward or whatever it was back then.

Stefanie was trying to get a marriage proposal from Elder Dude. To woo him, Mother’s idea was for her to bake cookies and Stefanie to take them to the Missionaries Apartment.

The missionaries lived in an apartment just a couple minutes drive from our house in Springfield. Stefanie drove to their apartment in the her red Dodge Shadow.

Stefanie left me in the car and went inside. I don’t remember how long she was in there for. Long enough for her to come out, hair a total mess as if someone had been grabbing or rubbing it.

Stefanie was disheveled. CSA-victim me could put two and two together. We would later learn that Elder Dude had done this with other Young Women in the Ward.

I hate these memories in my head. Mother allowed her daughter to be groomed. Mother is evil and Father is a coward. My therapist said I have unnecessary guilt about this event, even though Stefanie was a key player in the Mormon Cover Up.

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The Bishop Knows No Boundaries and attempt #1

Father is True Blue Mormon (TBM) to his core. He is a former Elder’s Quorum President, Ward Clerk, Bishop, 1st Counselor in Stake Presidency and now Senior Missionary. He loves it when people call him “President” or “Bishop” or “Elder” instead of “Brother” at church.

My LDS Mormon Father 100% believes he is destined for Kolob. He has been practicing running his planet for about 40 years. The Ward Clerk that doubled the drop has been practicing for Kolob by building a train set. The Bishop has been building a model railroad set for the last four decades.

Sidebar: I’m not here to crap on a hobby, but the man never attempted to connect with his children. He is the typical absent father. You cannot have an escape that takes you so far from reality that your children get raped repeatedly in your own house. That is my issue with my Father’s train set. I don’t care about anyone else’s train set. Trains are a trigger for me. They remind me of my Father. He was / is a bad man.

President Bishop Father has at least 12 tables connected together to make an HO-scale model resembling his home town. The tables are 4 foot by 8 foot each. They are solidly built-tables with 4×8 foot plywood tops. Father has been working on covering all of these tables with his town / planet since we lived in Springfield*. Mother sewed curtains so the area under the tables can be used as storage. Father has painted the concrete walls to look like the desert sky in Copper*, AZ.

All of these tables are drenched in HO-scale roads, bridges, a couple mountains, lots of houses, businesses and yes, trains. All these HO-scale elements have the names of the places in his childhood hometown. It is beyond a hobby. It is an obsession and / or an addiction. Maybe I get my “addictive personality” (sic) from Father?

Father abused his ‘authority’ while in the Stake Presidency

One time my father made a huge mistake as The First Counselor in the Stake Presidency of our stake and ward.

I ran away from home a lot. Between the ages of 12 and 16 I ran away so much that my True Blue Mormon (TBM) parents had to call the police to find me. Before they started involving the police my parents would try to find me. Until the incident.

I had a Mormon girlfriend at the time. Her parents were in our ward. They lived close, about 10 minutes by bike. 5 minutes or less by car.

I had run away. I don’t know when this was because I was not a part of the event. I was “on the road”.

Father puts on his authority pants to search for me

My Father and Mother thought I was at my girlfriend’s house. When President Father did not get the answers he wanted, he drove over to the Member’s house. He asked to come in, girlfriend’s dad said “no”. President Father tried to push past him into their home to look for me.

Girlfriend’s dad was taller and stronger than President Father. He grabbed Father by “the scruff of his neck and walked him off the property”. This was told to me in 2022 by the Girlfriend’s mom. She laughed while she told the story. I wish I had been there to see it 😂 President Bishop Father thought that his authority in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints gave him the right to enter another man’s home.

After the incident my Father tried to make amends with Girlfriend’s dad. When Father wanted to impress someone, he would allow them into his home to view the train set. The huge train set that looks like a town. The detail is mind numbing when you consider that he never had time for his first four children.

The girlfriend’s mom laughed again when she told this part of the story. My Father’s apology for trying to break into another man’s house was showing them a model railroad set.

President Father abuses his Mormon Authority Again

I wish father was interested in what has happened on this planet. Here is another example from around the same time. I had a great friend named Bob*. I communicated with his mother back in 2021. Bob and his family are awesome, and they liked to have me around. 💖

Joseph to Bob’s mom:
Hi
I want to thank you for the warm home that you and your husband provided for me when I was a kid. I loved coming to your home. It was so bright and caring compared to my parents’ house. I remember feeling wanted there.

Bob and I had so much fun together. We played roller hockey, made silly Lego videos and had our first band. I still have the guitar that I bought with Bob. I will reach out to him.

My profile is public. I am not going to stay on Facebook for long. Just long enough to collect more evidence of how awful Father and Mother were to Courtney and me. Feel free to like, post, share – or just lurk and read.

I am not good at maintaining relationships – because of all the abuse. But I want you to know that you and yours are angels in my dreams. Most of my dreams are nightmares about my mother. I am 42 years old, and just starting a new life. I have an amazing family, medications, and therapy. I work for a company that fully supports me. Thank you for reaching out and acknowledging me.

All the best
Joseph

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Bob’s mom to me:
Joseph
I am happy that we were able to provide a sanctuary for you. You were always welcome to be in our home. Bob has fond memories of your friendship.

I remember once letting you stay with us for maybe 2-3 days. The next week Father who was then in the Stake Presidency called me in under the guise of an interview. What he did was to chastise me for allowing you to stay in our home! I was just shocked. I cared about you and had lots of concerns.

Please stay strong. It sounds like you are in a good place. So happy that you have a great wife and support network.

All the best to you!
Love,
Bob’s mom

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Sidebar: I am in touch with Bob and his mom. They are so supportive and kind. It is good to have people like that in my life.

Mother drove me to break into the girlfriend’s house

One night, my LDS Mormon girlfriend and I had a fight. I was already in a major-depressive state from the untreated child sex abuse. I was in an anxious state from Mother’s constant emotional abuse and verbal fighting.

It was late at night on a school night. I had just got off the phone with the girlfriend. I was sitting in our recliner in the family room in Springfield*. I was probably crying. For some reason, my Mother offered to drive me to the girlfriend’s house. Mother knew that I had snuck into the girlfriend’s room on previous occasions. Mother offered to take me to her house to try to make up with her. Again, I have no idea why she seemed so nice.

Mother drove me the few minutes to the girlfriend’s house. She parked down the street, avoiding the streetlights. She told me not to take too long. (Again, I was 15. Why did Mother do this?)

I climbed the tree and got on the roof like I had before. The girlfriend’s window was unlocked. I climbed in and tried to be quiet and tell her I was sorry.

The girlfriend’s dad was in her room like greased lightning. He yelled “HEY”. I turned around and jumped out the window. (warning signs anyone? anyone?)

I ran down the street and Mother drove us home. I went back to the recliner.

Suicide Attempt #1

Trigger Warning: Suicide attempt

We can all help prevent suicide. The Lifeline provides 24/7, free and confidential support for people in distress, prevention and crisis resources for you or your loved ones, and best practices for professionals in the United States

https://988lifeline.org

The memory is so clear.  I was sitting in the recliner in the family room. The leftover 1970’s wood paneling. We were Mormon so we didn’t have a lot of options for ending my life. As a Mormon, I was very sheltered and naive. As a child sex abuse victim, my Mother kept me isolated. I was 15. I took half a bottle of aspirin. I just kept taking aspirin until I got tired.

Obviously, I did not die. I don’t remember much of the next day. I do remember skipping lunch and asking my geography teacher if I could sleep at my desk. He said “yes”. I slept the day away.

How naive was / am I? I can now laugh at the scene in The Birdcage and the “pirin” tablets. Dark humor is my savior.

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Suicide Attempt #2

I was tired of Mother’s constant emotional abuse. I was tired of wetting the bed. I was tired from lack of sleep. I was tired from waking up for early-morning church class. Five days a week we went to Church from 5:30 am to 6:30 am. It was called Seminary. My mother taught the Seminary class. I had to listen to her literally preach every day before school. I can feel the depression in the pit of my stomach while I think about that time in my life.

Trigger Warning: Suicide attempt

We can all help prevent suicide. The Lifeline provides 24/7, free and confidential support for people in distress, prevention and crisis resources for you or your loved ones, and best practices for professionals in the United States

https://988lifeline.org

One night, in my shared bedroom with Murph*, I decided to attempt again. This time with my Boy Scouts of America Swiss Army Knife. I wrote lyrics to a song in place of a note. I wrote it on several sheets of pink construction paper. I took the knife and cut both of my wrists. I closed my eyes and waited for death.

Obviously, I did not die. I woke up to Mother’s screaming. “What did you DO? What did you DO?”. She pulled me out of bed and was grabbing my arms to inspect the limited, but visible damage.

I had cut across my wrist. Enough to leave cuts and blood, but not enough to end my life. Mother said these words, I will never forget her face, her angry voice and her sheer hatred for me as a human: “You’re so stupid you can’t even kill yourself right. You are supposed to cut up and down your wrist.” She pantomimed slitting from wrist to elbow. She showed me how to kill myself correctly.

Mother made me wear a bandage to cover the cuts, see above.

Continue Reading: Kidnapped!

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